An Idiots Predictions for UFC 210

Imma be straight with you. I am definitely one of those keyboard warriors that is 100% comfortable cussing out an MMA fighter for giving up their neck whilst being utterly terrified to step into a gym and do it myself.

I once went to an ‘MMA’ class and got punched square on the nose in light sparring and succinctly thought “nooooope”. ¬†I recently attended a Jiu-Jitsu class and actually thought it was alright…mainly because it was like aggressive, tactical cuddling with the odd, uncomfortable rhythmic tap. ¬†At least I’m honest.

SO why should anyone listen to me when I give my predictions for the upcoming UFC 210 event? ¬†Well. ¬†You probably shouldn’t… but everyone loves an opinion to slate and I say bring¬†the visceral hatred.
So here are my picks for UFC 210, founded in illogical thinking, biased opinions and “I’ve got a funny feeling” thoughts…

Will Brooks vs Charles Oliveira

Will Brooks continues his war against men with the surname¬†Oliveira¬†in this lightweight bout. After being laid on and repeatedly punched in the head by an overweight (strictly in the context of a lightweight fight)¬†Alex Oliveira, Brooks is looking to avenge that loss against BJJ specialist¬†Charles Oliveira (the guy once won by a reverse calf-slicer…I prefer my calf’s¬†going the correct way and unsliced please).

This will be¬†Brooks¬†third fight in the UFC (1-1) and I have a feeling that something is going to click for the former Bellator LW champ. I see this being an ‘incredibly technical fight’ (UFC Jargon that can be translated to¬†dull for the casual, bloodthirsty fan) where Brooks will outpoint Oliveira for 2 of the 3 rounds.

Will Brooks   Win by Decision

Thiago Alves vs¬†Patrick C√īt√©

I could flip a coin and be happy with either option when it comes to this bout. Two MMA veterans fighting in a very evenly matched bout. Thiago Alves¬†has always seemed like he is on the precipice of a¬†huge performance but often falls short, whilst¬†Patrick C√īt√©¬†looks fantastic in a suit. Following that logic, I think¬†C√īt√© will get it done in 2 rounds with some devastatingly¬†tailored striking.

Patrick C√īt√© ¬†¬†Win by TKO Round 2

Cynthia Calvillo vs Pearl Gonzalez 

With Paige VanZant and Cynthia Calvillo¬†coming through the ranks maybe they should consider changing their name to Team Alpha FEmale…lol amirite?

Terrible, obvious puns aside, Calvillo is the prospect who popped¬†up out of nowhere on the UFC 209 main card, after sweeping aside Amanda Cooper she is back to take on UFC newcomer, “The PearlPool Gonzalez” (not an approved nickname but hopefully now it’s out there it will stick).

This fight will (might) be finished on the floor and I can see Calvillo getting it done Submission style.

Cynthia Calvillo   Win by Submission Round 2

Chris Weidman vs Gegard Mousasi 

Ohhhhhh my days this is where it gets exciting. This is such an awesome fight!¬†Mousasi is¬†one of those game fighters that is just down for anything and anyone. The man submitted¬†Mark Hunt in an open-weight contest. Since being beaten by Uriah “I’m going to KO you from absolutely nowhere” Hall, the guy has looked pretty invincible, avenging said loss in the process.

On the flip side, Weidman has had two punishing losses and a wee bit of career-teetering neck surgery since his last win in 2015. He actually looked good in his last fight but got struck down by a Soldier of God kneeing him in the head, a common problem for UFC fighters.

Can I look past the hot-streak that Mousasi is on? Sure I can. Weidman to win by decision using sheer American Pride to carry him through the fight.

Chris Weidman   Win by Decision

Daniel Cormier (c) vs Anthony Johnson II

One man wrecking ball Anthony ‘Rumble’ Johnson will look to swing things into his favor early on by attempting to, once again, create a ripple in time and space by connecting any part of his body with the opponents.

That opponent being Daniel Cormier, the man we all love to hate. What an awful human being. Taking the belt without beating the champion. Not being accused of taking PEDs. Beating the beloved Anderson Silva at short notice at UFC 200. Who does he think he is?

If you had asked me how this fight would go one year ago I would have said: “exactly like the first”. One year on and I think the tides have turned ever so slightly. Whilst Cormier has been exercising his ability as an analyst and commentator for the UFC, Rumble has been quietly going about his business, ironing out his game plan to take Cormier out and set up the fight against Jon Jones. The fight will hinge on whether Cormier can survive those early rounds and grind Johnson down over the fight (sorry for regurgitating exactly what every single MMA journalist has said…but it really is that simple).

Anthony Johnson   Win by TKO in Round 2

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